Conner Stoll's Terrible Pickup Lines
by TheOneNicoCaredForMostPercy
Summary: The four times Conner Stoll used pickup lines on Nico di Angelo. The extra one he used after they got together, much to the horror of Percy Jackson


**The four times Conner Stoll used pickup lines on Nico di Angelo. The extra one he used have they got together. Mostly from Percy's point of view.**

**Warnings: Implied smut, horrible pickup lines, the slapping of Nico di Angelo's ass**

**Travis/Katie Percabeth **

**Best Friends Nico and Percy**

**AU-ish because Nico's gay but he never had a crush on Percy. **

The worst thing about coming from the forties is that you don't understand pickup lines, especially the terrible ones. People were classy back then, or at least that was what Nico had told him.

But Conner Stoll was not classy, he was a complete idiot, a total fucking goof ball, so Percy knew he would be the type.

Thought Percy had never put him down for someone that had a death wish.

Ever since the war with Gaea it seemed like Conner had one. He was more on his own now, now that his brother was dating Katie Gardner from the Demeter cabin.

He apparently decided bothering Nico do Angelo was the best way to past the time.

"Is your father a thief? Because he stole the sparkle from the stars, and put it in your eyes."

Nico had looked up from his sword that he was sharpening, yup defiantly had a death wish. But fortunately Nico just looked very confused.

"Your dad's the thief though…" Nico said, eyebrows crinkling together in confusion.

Conner just smirked and walked away, laughing to himself.

Nico looked at Percy for help.

"Uh….he means to say….he thinks your eyes are pretty."

…..

"Are you lost? Because it's so strange to see an angel so far from Hades."

Nico almost fell off the rock climbing wall, he went down a few rocks, catching himself before he slipped cemetery.

By the time he looked up a laughing Conner Stoll was already twenty feet above him, jumping away from some falling lava.

Nico looked to Percy, who was to distracted checking out Annabeth to pay attention to him.

"What…what's that supposed to mean?" he asked Percy.

Percy jumped, almost falling off.

"What?"

"Conner said…something about being a angel being far from Hades." Nico said, cocking his head as Conner climbed down the wall, a smirk still gracing his pale features.

"Uh…I think he's trying to call you beautiful, Neeks." Percy said, grinning at the blush that darkened the pure white skin of his cheeks.

"But…not all….just because…"

"Dude take the compliment." Percy insisted.

…..

"Baby, you look so sweet you're giving me a cavity."

Nico almost decapitated himself as he scrambled out of the towel that he was using to dry off his water slicked hair. Nico blinked, letting the towel fall over his bare shoulders, looking up to meet sky blue eyes that held twinkles like little stars.

"What?" Nico blurted, feeling so out of his element he felt awkward and clumsy and so fucking confused.

"Sweet like sugar." Conner muttered, licking his lips, he didn't answer his question, just walked past him and laid a firm handed smack on his ass before high tailing it out of there.

"Did Conner just slap your ass?" Percy snorted as he came out of the water, instantly dry. Bastard.

"What's that mean?" Nico asked.

"Mean he thinks your ass is sweet."

Nico cocked his head. "But asses usually resemble ill flavors."

Percy sighed. Out of all the people in the world, why did his best friend have to be his fourteen year old cousin still stuck in the forties? _WHY?_

"That's a little inappropriate to say out loud isn't it?" Nico asked.

The gods hated him.

…

"I'm new in town, could I have directions to your house."

Nico stared at him, a piece of brisket dangling out of his mouth as he stopped mid chew. Conner stood grinning at him, eyes twinkling in that trouble maker fashion he was famous for.

Nico swallowed down his brisket, sharing a confused look with Percy who was trying his hardest not to burst out laughing, just like the rest of the seven that were allowed to sit at the Poseidon table, because well bitches their the seven and Nico is the motherfucker who takes care of their asses so they can do whatever the fuck they want.

"You've been here since you were five." Nico said, confused.

Conner just looked at him.

"Y…you know where my cabin is. Its two down from yours."

Conner smirked, placing a hand on the Italians shoulder for a moment, before leaning over and whispering in his ear,

"Then how bout you invite me in one day, di Angelo?"

Conner strutted away, laughing in the light breeze to go sit by his slightly older brother. Nico was stuck in his seat, his mouth hanging open, his eyes dripping with something Percy had never seen in them before. Something dark and needy and very overwhelming.

"Neeks?" Percy asked.

Nico swallowed thickly and slowly got up and climbed out of his seat.

Percy stared as he watched his best friend slowly walk past the Hermes table, his hand ever so NOT subtle gripping Conner Stoll's shoulder tightly before slowly walking from the pavilion.

Percy also watched as Conner Stoll stuffed the rest of his mushroom pizza into his mouth before clapping his brother on the back with a exited look on his face before high tailing it right after Nico.

Percy was very thankful he didn't have to watch whatever the fuck came after that.

….

They were in the middle of a cabin concealer meeting with Mr. D and Chiron when all of a sudden Conner Stoll let out a loud gasp.

Everyone looked at him, then over to what he was looking at.

To no one's surprise such thing was Nico di Angelo who had been doing nothing but sitting in silence.

"Nico!" he said in a alarmed voice.

Travis stifled a laugh and Percy rolled his eyes, knowing some bullshit joke was coming up.

"Is that Windex you're wearing? Because I can see myself in your pants." Conner said in a very calm, serious voice.

Leo burst out laughing, spraying water all over everyone.

"Oh never mind I was just having flashbacks from last night."

Percy hated his life.

**That was….awful. But I was having Conner and Nico feels because I think they would be adorable together and even though Percico is my OTP, and Valdangelo has made a nest in my heart, I ship Nico with a lot of fucking guys. Examples being, Octavian, Apollo, Will, Travis and Conner.**

**Along with Leo, Percy and Jason but these are more canon so.**

**Please review, Conner loves those.**

**Lots of Love,**

**Sarah**


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